Post Mortem

You have left the room leaving your smiling interviewer behind. The exit is approaching as you manage to put one foot in front of another. Your mind is focused, focused on carrying out an immediate post mortem.

At least you do when things have gone badly. Yesterday was a blip really. A blip of confidence, a blip on practiced interview technique, a blip on exiting an interview with your head held high.

Finding the place was easier than expected. I did in fact arrive just under an hour early. Fortunately there was a cafe nearby which I could wait at. I had a cappucino and read newspapers. Waiting, waiting...

I have found the longer you have to wait for something the more nerves get to poke their head in and scream at you. Travelling does not count as waiting so much as when you are sitting in a nearby place which serves no other purpose to you than to be a place to pass time. Also this is probably a personal thing but the cappucino really didnt help. It made me mouth dryer, leaving a lingering unpleasant feeling.*

Heading to reception I was then sent upstairs, where I had to wait again. I read the book I had with me, except I didn't actually read if you know what I mean.

Ushered into the tiniest office I have ever been in I was then cross-examined by the C.E.O and my potential future boss. I was thrown immediately on to the back foot when I saw that on the desk lay the doomed covering letter, the covering letter written to convince GJS I was needy. (See Crossed Wires)

I stammered, stuttered, repeated myself. I tried too hard. The room was hot despite a fan. It was an unpleasant experience and when I left I felt as if I had escaped.

The immediate feeling afterwards was one of lethargy. I tore to pieces my answers, looked for things I had got right(which were few and far between), and thought about what I should have said. But I did so with little convinction. It took several hours after the actual event for me to recover, it was quite unusual, as was in fact, going to pieces in the interview.

The post mortem revealed a mess, one of my worst performances so far but as for the reasons it found none. The questions were no harder than others I have undertaken, the atmosphere less harsh than many, the interviewers kind and supportive. The frustrating thing is that the company are committed to providing feedback on candidates who failed to get the role. In my case the feedback is mostly wasted. Its the equivalent of carrying out analysis purely on an anomaly and its frustrating that such a good opportunity has been wasted.